Ways You’re Standing In Your Own Way (And Blaming Everyone Else)

It’s easy to give into the temptation to blame everyone else for your problems instead of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for your life and your actions. Your boss is unreasonable, your partner’s inconsiderate, the universe is conspiring against you… surely, they’re the reason your life isn’t turning out the way you’d hoped, right? Wrong. Sometimes, you may be the biggest obstacle to your own success and happiness. The good news is that the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can start to make a change.

1. You have a victim mentality.

Life doesn’t always go smoothly, but believing the world’s out to get you creates a cycle of helplessness. When you view yourself as a victim, you give up your power. Instead of asking “Why me?”, focus on “What can I do about it?” This mindset shifts you from passive complainer to empowered problem-solver.

2. Your “reasons” are just excuses.

We all have valid reasons why things are hard: lack of time, money, connections, support. But the difference between successful people and those stuck in a rut is that they find a way despite their circumstances. Instead of using difficult conditions as an excuse for inaction, find a way over, around, or through them.

3. You’re always waiting for the perfect moment.

Newsflash: the perfect moment to start a business, go back to school, or ask someone out doesn’t exist. Procrastinating while waiting for things to magically align only guarantees it will never happen. The perfect time is now! Start messy, learn along the way, and refine your approach as you go.

4. You refuse to acknowledge your weaknesses.

Everyone has weaknesses. Denying yours blinds you to areas needing improvement. Get honest with yourself! Are you disorganized, a poor communicator, easily overwhelmed? Instead of blaming external factors, address those weaknesses head-on and work on developing skills crucial to your success.

5. You’re terrified of failure.

The fear of messing up can be paralyzing. But failure is a natural part of learning and growth. Successful people fail often, but they learn from mistakes and keep moving forward. Reframe failure not as the end, but as feedback that gets you one step closer to your goals.

6. You surround yourself with negative or unsupportive people.

The company you keep influences your mindset significantly. If your friends or family constantly whine, shoot down your dreams, or fuel your victim mentality, they drag you down. Seek out people who inspire, uplift, and offer constructive feedback, fueling your growth rather than your insecurities.

7. You compare yourself to others and fall into the despair trap.

Constantly comparing your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel is a recipe for misery. Focus on your own journey! Celebrate your small victories, measure your progress against where you were before, and remain focused on your own unique path, not others’.

8. You have a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.

Believing your talents and abilities are set in stone is a self-fulfilling prophecy. A growth mindset emphasizes that intelligence and skills can be developed through dedication and effort. Instead of saying “I’m not good at this,” tell yourself “I’m not good at this YET.” This subtle shift unlocks possibilities and motivates you to improve.

9. You give up too easily.

Success rarely happens overnight. If you quit at the first sign of difficulty, you’ll never reap the rewards. Instead of focusing on immediate gratification, embrace the process and develop the grit to keep going even when it’s hard. Remember, consistency is key to achieving major milestones.

10. You’re afraid to ask for help.

Wanting to do everything on your own can be rooted in pride or insecurity. Asking for help is NOT a sign of failure, but intelligence. Seek out mentors, join relevant communities, and don’t be afraid to leverage the knowledge and experience of others who’ve walked a similar path.

11. Change makes you deeply uncomfortable.

Clinging to the familiar keeps you stuck, even when it’s unhealthy or unfulfilling. Growth requires stepping outside your comfort zone. Learn to tolerate discomfort, knowing that’s where transformation happens. Embrace new experiences, challenge your assumptions, and be open to change to create a more fulfilling life.

12. You take criticism way too personally.

Not all feedback is created equal, but learning to extract constructive value is crucial. Defensiveness blocks your ability to improve. Instead of automatically shutting down, ask clarifying questions when someone offers criticism. Separate valid suggestions from personal attacks, focusing on what you can learn for future growth.

13. You self-sabotage with negative self-talk.

The voice inside your head wields immense power. If your default mode is self-criticism (“I’ll never succeed” or “I’m not good enough”), you unconsciously sabotage your efforts. Become aware of those negative thought patterns and challenge them with realistic, empowering messages.

14. You’re unwilling to take calculated risks.

Playing it safe might feel secure, but it rarely leads to major breakthroughs. Taking calculated risks forces you out of stagnation. Do your research, weigh the pros and cons, then act decisively and learn from your experiences, even if they don’t always pan out perfectly.

15. Procrastination is your best friend (and worst enemy).

Chronically putting off tasks, especially the challenging ones, guarantees you won’t reach your potential. Tackling the most important or unpleasant things first builds self-discipline, frees up your time, and gives you a sense of accomplishment that motivates you to keep going.

16. You prioritize perfectionism over progress.

Holding yourself to impossible standards guarantees perpetual frustration. Instead of obsessing over making something flawless before putting it out into the world, focus on continuous progress. A “done is better than perfect” attitude gets more things finished and teaches you valuable lessons along the way.

17. You lack clear goals and a roadmap to achieve them.

You can’t reach a destination if you don’t know where you’re going. Define your big-picture goals and break them down into smaller, achievable milestones. Create a plan that includes daily or weekly actions that bring you closer to those goals. This gives you direction, focus, and empowers you to track your progress.