17 Things You’re Doing That Are Scaring People Away

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You might think you’ve got good social skills, but does everyone else agree with you? If you’re guilty of any of the following behaviors, maybe not. There are certain parts of your personality that could be scaring people away — if you want to be liked moving forward (and let’s be honest, who doesn’t?), you need to stop these things ASAP.

1. You’re a perpetual pessimist.

Here’s the thing: constant negativity is exhausting. If you’re the person who always points out the downside, don’t be surprised when others start keeping their distance. It’s not about faking positivity; it’s about not letting a negative mindset dominate your conversations. People are naturally drawn to those who uplift them, not those who bring them down. Start balancing your perspective, and you’ll notice a change in how people respond to you.

2. Gossip is your #1 hobby.

If your idea of small talk is discussing someone else’s business, it’s time to rethink your conversation starters. Gossip might seem like an easy way to bond, but it actually sends a message that you’re untrustworthy. Remember, if you’re willing to talk about others, people will assume you’ll talk about them too. Try focusing on shared interests, ideas, and positive stories to foster genuine connections.

3. You’re clinging like a vine.

Clinginess can be overwhelming. Whether it’s constantly needing reassurance, bombarding someone with messages, or not taking a hint to give space – it’s a lot. People value their independence and will feel suffocated if you’re too clingy. It’s essential to find confidence in your own company and allow relationships to breathe. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and space, not dependency.

4. You don’t seem to understand the concept of personal space.

Crossing personal boundaries, whether physical or emotional, is a big no-no. If you’re the type to overshare, pry into others’ lives without invitation, or disregard personal cues for space, you’re likely making people uncomfortable. Boundaries are crucial for healthy interactions. Start by understanding and respecting others’ limits, and you’ll be more likely to foster comfortable and willing interactions.

5. You try too hard to impress everyone.

People can sniff out inauthenticity from a mile away. If you’re always putting on a show to impress, it’s not going to work in the long run. Authenticity beats performance every time. Be yourself, quirks and all. Genuine connections are made when people feel they’re seeing the real you, not a curated version designed to impress. Remember, real connections are built on honesty and vulnerability, not on a façade.

6. You’re overly opinionated and argumentative.

Passion is great, but if every conversation turns into a debate, you’re going to start pushing people away. Not every discussion needs to be won. Learn to listen and respect differing viewpoints. People appreciate when you can agree to disagree without turning it into a conflict.

7. You always need to be the center of attention.

If you dominate every conversation and constantly steer the focus back to yourself, it’s a problem. Relationships are a two-way street, and hogging the spotlight screams self-absorption. Show genuine interest in others and share the stage.

8. You completely lack empathy and understanding.

Failing to show empathy or understanding in interactions is a fast track to alienation. People gravitate towards those who can sympathize and connect with their feelings. Work on being more empathetic – it’s not just about responding, but about truly understanding and sharing in someone’s emotions.

9. You’re always doling out criticism.

Constant criticism, even if it’s well-intentioned, can be demoralizing. It’s important to balance feedback with encouragement. Recognize and commend the good in people. They’ll appreciate the positivity and be more receptive to your advice.

10. You always have to be right.

There’s nothing more off-putting than someone who can’t admit they’re wrong. Insisting on always being right isn’t just annoying; it shows a lack of humility and openness to learning. Embrace the fact that you’re not always going to be right, and that’s okay.

11. You’re a chronic flirt.

Flirting can be harmless, but if it’s your way of interacting with everyone, regardless of the context or their comfort level, it’s a turn-off. It’s important to read the room and understand that not everyone may appreciate or welcome flirty behavior. Respectful and friendly interactions are more likely to create lasting, positive connections.

12. You don’t listen, you just wait to speak.

There’s a huge difference between listening and just waiting for your turn to talk. If people feel like you’re not genuinely interested in what they’re saying, they’ll stop wanting to engage with you. Active listening involves engaging with the conversation and showing interest in the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

13. You’re always in competition mode.

Constantly turning everything into a competition, especially in social settings, can be draining for those around you. Life isn’t a constant contest. People appreciate those who can be happy for others’ successes and offer support instead of always trying to one-up them.

14. You can’t handle silence.

If you’re uncomfortable with silence and try to fill every gap in conversation, it can become exhausting. Silence doesn’t always need to be filled; sometimes it’s just a natural part of the conversation flow. Being comfortable with occasional silence shows confidence and ease in social situations.

15. You give way too much information.

Sharing is good, but oversharing, especially early in a relationship, can scare people off. It’s important to gauge the level of intimacy in a relationship and share personal details appropriately. Building trust takes time, and part of that is knowing when and what to share.

16. You dismiss people’s feelings and experiences.

Being dismissive or belittling others’ feelings or experiences is a major red flag. It shows a lack of empathy and respect. People need to feel heard and validated. Practice acknowledging and respecting different perspectives and experiences, even if they don’t align with your own.

17. You’re addicted to drama.

Constant drama or always being in the midst of a crisis can be overwhelming and off-putting. It’s emotionally taxing for others to be around someone who’s perpetually in a state of turmoil. Work on finding balance and stability in your life. People are drawn to those who have a certain level of calm and control over their life.