13 Common Self-Help Tips That Won’t Actually Help You
Liubomyr Vorona Self-help books, podcasts, and gurus are everywhere these days, promising to transform your life with their magical advice.
However, not all self-help tips are created equal. Some are genuinely helpful, while others are just feel-good fluff that won’t actually move the needle on your personal growth journey. It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff and call out those well-meaning but ultimately ineffective self-help tips that won’t actually help you. Here are some you should throw right in the rubbish.
1. Just think positive and everything will be alright.
Source: Unsplash Positive thinking is great, but it’s not a magic wand that can erase all your problems. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes things just don’t go your way. Trying to force yourself to be positive all the time can actually be counterproductive, leading to denial, suppression of emotions, and a disconnect from reality. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Acknowledging and processing your emotions is a healthier approach than pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows.
2. Fake it ’til you make it.
While confidence is an admirable trait, faking it can only take you so far. Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting and unsustainable. Instead of focusing on external appearances, work on developing genuine self-confidence by building your skills, knowledge, and experience. Authentic confidence comes from within, not from a facade you put on for the world.
3. Set unrealistic goals to push yourself.
Source: Unsplash Setting ambitious goals can be motivating, but setting unrealistic ones can backfire. If your goals are too far out of reach, you might get discouraged, lose momentum, and give up altogether. Instead, focus on setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound) that are challenging but attainable. Celebrate your progress along the way, and don’t be afraid to adjust your goals as needed.
4. Compare yourself to other people to find motivation.
Source: Unsplash Comparing yourself to anyone else is a recipe for unhappiness. There will always be someone who seems to have it all or be doing better than you. Focusing on what you lack will only lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Instead, celebrate your own unique strengths and accomplishments. Focus on your own journey and strive to be the best version of yourself, not a carbon copy of someone else.
5. Follow your passion and the money will follow.
Source: Unsplash While it’s important to find work that you enjoy, following your passion doesn’t always guarantee financial success. Sometimes, pursuing your passion might require sacrifices, hard work, and a long road to profitability. It’s essential to be realistic about the financial implications of your choices and create a sustainable plan for supporting yourself while pursuing your dreams.
6. Visualise your success and it will come to you.
Source: Unsplash Visualisation can be a powerful tool for motivation and goal setting, but it’s not a substitute for action. Simply visualising your success won’t magically make it happen. You need to put in the work, develop your skills, and take concrete steps towards your goals. Visualisation can help you stay focused and motivated, but it’s ultimately your actions that will determine your success.
7. Surround yourself with only positive people.
While it’s important to have supportive people in your life, surrounding yourself with only positive people can create an echo chamber that shields you from reality. Constructive criticism and diverse perspectives are essential for growth and learning. Don’t be afraid to engage with people who challenge your views and help you see things from different angles.
8. Just be yourself and everything will fall into place.
Source: Unsplash While authenticity is important, simply being yourself might not be enough to achieve your goals or build meaningful relationships. Self-awareness, personal growth, and adapting to different situations are essential for success in life. “Being yourself” shouldn’t be an excuse for complacency or avoiding self-improvement.
9. Just follow your gut and you’ll make the right decision.
Source: Unsplash While intuition can be a valuable tool, relying solely on your gut feeling isn’t always the best approach. Sometimes, our emotions and biases can cloud our judgment and lead us astray. It’s important to gather information, consider different perspectives, and weigh the pros and cons before making important decisions. Your gut might give you a hunch, but logic and reason should also play a role in your decision-making process.
10. Manifest your desires and they will appear.
Source: Unsplash The concept of manifestation has gained popularity in recent years, but it’s important to remember that it’s not a magical solution to all your problems. While positive thinking and visualisation can be helpful, they won’t magically bring you everything you want. You still need to take action, work hard, and be persistent to achieve your goals. Manifestation can be a tool for setting intentions and staying motivated, but it’s not a substitute for effort and perseverance.
11. Take a break from technology and you’ll instantly feel better.
Source: Unsplash While digital detoxes can be refreshing, they’re not a cure-all for life’s challenges. Taking a break from technology might help you reduce stress and improve focus in the short term, but it won’t magically solve all your problems. Addressing the root causes of your stress and anxiety requires more than just unplugging for a few days. It’s important to develop healthy coping mechanisms and address any underlying issues that might be contributing to your stress.
12. Just be grateful for what you have and you’ll be happy.
Source: Unsplash Gratitude is a wonderful practice that can boost your mood and well-being, but it’s not a guaranteed path to happiness. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions. Focusing on gratitude can help you appreciate the good things in your life, but it won’t eliminate all your problems or magically make you happy all the time. It’s important to acknowledge and process all your emotions, both positive and negative.
13. If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.
Source: Unsplash While finding work that you’re passionate about is ideal, it’s unrealistic to expect to never experience any challenges or frustrations. Even the most fulfilling jobs can have their downsides, such as tight deadlines, difficult clients, or demanding workloads. It’s important to have realistic expectations about work and understand that even the most enjoyable careers can sometimes feel like work.
