If Someone Says These 18 Things, They’re Conversational Red Flags
Unsplash Navigating conversations can be complex, especially when certain phrases act as red flags. Here are 18 statements that, when repeatedly used, may indicate manipulative behaviour or a lack of respect and empathy.
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash This is a common phrase used to dismiss your feelings and invalidate your perspective. It’s a form of emotional gaslighting that seeks to make you question the validity of your emotions or reactions.
2. “I’m just being honest.”
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Often used as an excuse to say hurtful or unnecessary comments under the guise of honesty. It can be a sign of insensitivity or a lack of social and emotional intelligence.
3. “Trust me.”
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When said excessively, it can indicate that the person might not be trustworthy. Trust is shown through actions, not just words. Overuse of this phrase might be a tactic to cover up dishonesty.
4. “You always…” or “You never…”
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These absolute statements are often used to blame or criticise. They are typically an overgeneralisation and can be an indicator of a person’s inability to communicate their feelings effectively.
5. “I don’t remember saying that.”
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Regular denial of past statements can be a sign of gaslighting, a form of manipulation. It’s a tactic to make you doubt your own memory and perception of events.
6. “If you really loved me, you would…”
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This is a manipulation tactic often used to guilt-trip or coerce you into doing something. It’s a form of emotional blackmail that uses your feelings against you.
7. “Everyone thinks that…”
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Using anonymous others to validate their point can be a sign that they’re trying to manipulate the conversation. It’s a tactic to pressure you into agreeing with them or questioning your own viewpoint.
8. “No offence, but…”
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Often, what follows this statement is something offensive or disrespectful. It’s a way to excuse rude or hurtful remarks and can indicate a lack of empathy or respect for your feelings.
9. “It’s just a joke.”
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This can be used to dismiss your feelings when they’ve said something hurtful. It’s a way to excuse inappropriate comments or behaviour by making it seem like you’re the one overreacting.
10. “That’s not what you really think.”
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This indicates that they’re trying to tell you what you think or feel, instead of listening to your actual thoughts or feelings. This can be a sign of control or lack of respect for your individuality.
11. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
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This shows a lack of willingness to consider other perspectives. It can stifle open dialogue and indicate a lack of humility or an unwillingness to learn from others.
12. “You’re overreacting.”
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This phrase is often used to minimise your feelings or reactions. It’s a form of gaslighting that seeks to make you question the validity of your response to their behaviour.
13. “Why can’t you be more like…?”
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Comparing you to others in a negative way can be a sign of disrespect and lack of appreciation for your individuality. It can damage your self-esteem and create unnecessary pressure to conform.
14. “I don’t need to apologise because…”
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Refusing to apologise when they’re wrong can be a sign they’re not taking responsibility for their actions. It’s a failure to acknowledge their mistakes, which is essential for personal growth and healthy relationships.
15. “I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
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If said frequently, this could indicate a lack of empathy or consideration for others. It can show a disregard for social norms or the feelings and opinions of others.
16. “I’m the only one who really understands you.”
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This can be a sign of isolation, a common tactic in manipulative relationships. It’s a way to make you feel dependent on them and undervalue your relationships with others.
17. “You owe me.”
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This can indicate a transactional view of the relationship, where kindnesses are not done out of empathy but as debts to be repaid. It can create an unhealthy dynamic where you feel obligated to them.
18. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
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Dismissing your knowledge or experience in this way can undermine your confidence and belittle your contribution to the conversation. It’s a form of intellectual bullying that seeks to assert dominance or superiority.
