Forms Of Disrespect You Should Never Tolerate From Your Partner

Healthy relationships are built on respect, of course, but sometimes, disrespectful behavior can creep in slowly, making it hard to identify. It’s important to set boundaries on what you will and won’t tolerate from your partner. Respect includes both how you speak to each other and how your actions impact your partner.

1. They belittle or mock you, even in a “joking” way.

They poke fun at your appearance, your intelligence, or your dreams. Maybe they dismiss it as just teasing, but if it consistently makes you feel hurt or small, it’s not harmless. Belittling comments chip away at your self-esteem, and they’re never okay in a healthy relationship.

2. They dismiss your feelings and concerns.

When you try to express how you feel, do they roll their eyes, change the subject, or tell you that you’re being oversensitive? Dismissing your emotions is incredibly invalidating. It makes you feel unseen and teaches you that your emotional needs aren’t important to your partner.

3. They gaslight you.

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where they twist your words, deny things they did, or make you question your own reality, Medical News Today explains. The goal is to make you doubt your own memory and perception, which gives them control and destabilizes you. This is a serious form of emotional abuse.

4. They give you the silent treatment.

After an argument or disagreement, they refuse to communicate or engage with you. The silent treatment is a way to punish you, control your emotions, and avoid taking responsibility. Healthy couples can disagree respectfully and work through conflict without needing to freeze each other out.

5. They constantly criticize you.

Nothing you do is good enough. They pick apart your choices, how you look, your parenting, your job performance – the list goes on. Healthy couples can offer feedback without tearing each other down. Constant criticism erodes your confidence and damages your sense of self.

6. They control your behavior.

They dictate who you can spend time with, what you wear, or how you spend your money. They may isolate you from friends and family or get jealous and possessive. Controlling behavior is a huge red flag, stripping you of independence and autonomy. Healthy partners encourage each other’s growth, not limit it.

7. They threaten you or use intimidation tactics.

Whether it’s physical violence or threats of it, veiled threats about what they might do, or using intimidating body language, this behavior is designed to make you feel scared and compliant. This is abuse, plain and simple. Healthy relationships never include threats or fear tactics.

8. They blame you for their behavior.

They cheated because “you didn’t pay enough attention to them.” They yelled because “you made them angry.” Taking responsibility for their own choices and actions is crucial to a healthy dynamic. If your partner consistently blames you for their behavior, it’s a way to avoid accountability and keep you feeling responsible for their negative actions.

9. They lie to you or withhold important information.

Whether it’s big lies or a pattern of little ones, dishonesty breaks the foundation of trust in a relationship. Maybe they hide their spending habits, lie about where they’ve been, or keep secrets about their past. If you can’t trust your partner to be truthful, it creates insecurity and makes you question everything about the relationship.

10. They don’t respect your boundaries.

You have a right to physical and emotional boundaries. Maybe they look through your phone without permission, pressure you into things you don’t want to do, or refuse to respect your need for time alone. Healthy relationships involve respecting each other’s individual needs and boundaries.

11. They put their own needs above yours consistently.

Relationships require a balance of give and take. If your partner expects you to put their needs first all the time while neglecting your own, something’s wrong. Their social plans always trump yours, they never offer emotional support, or their desires in the bedroom take priority over yours? This lack of consideration is a form of disrespect.

12. They sabotage your success.

A healthy partner should be your biggest cheerleader, but if they feel threatened by your accomplishments, downplay your achievements, or subtly discourage you from pursuing your goals, it’s a major red flag. You deserve someone who celebrates your wins and wants to see you thrive.

13. They refuse to compromise.

Relationships involve give and take. There will be times you need to find a middle ground. But if your partner is always all or nothing, refusing to budge on anything even if it’s important to you, that’s rigid and disrespectful. It signals that your opinions and needs hold less value than their own.

14. They never apologize or admit when they are wrong.

Even the best partners mess up sometimes. However, as Harvard Medical School notes, the ability to sincerely apologize and take ownership is key. If your partner acts like they can do no wrong, refuses to see things from your perspective, or deflects blame, it makes it impossible to resolve conflict healthily or build true intimacy.

15. They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

You never know what mood they’ll be in or how they’ll react to things. This constant unpredictability creates a sense of anxiety and makes you censor yourself or change your behavior to avoid upsetting them. You should feel safe and comfortable with your partner, not constantly on edge.

16. They don’t support your growth.

A healthy relationship allows space for both partners to grow as individuals. If your partner holds you back, doesn’t encourage your personal development, or feels threatened by your expanding world, it stunts your potential. You deserve a partner who champions your growth and wants you to become the best version of yourself.