17 Sneaky Things A Narcissist Does To Take Advantage Of You
Unsplash Dealing with a narcissist is usually more trouble than it’s worth.
Source: Unsplash But here’s the thing: narcissists aren’t just selfish, they’re incredibly manipulative. They’ve got a whole toolbox of tricks designed to pull the wool over your eyes. Here are just some of their shady tactics, so you can spot the signs and protect yourself from their self-serving schemes.
1. Love bombing
Source: Pexels It starts with a whirlwind romance. Flowers, compliments, grand gestures – they sweep you off your feet. They make you feel like you’ve finally met your soulmate. But it’s all a facade. They’re not genuinely interested in you; they’re just reeling you in. Once they’ve got you hooked, the love bombing stops abruptly, leaving you confused and craving their attention. It’s like a sugar rush followed by a crash, and it leaves you vulnerable to their manipulations.
2. Gaslighting
Source: Unsplash Ever felt like you’re going mad? A narcissist will make you question your own sanity. They’ll deny things they said or did, twist your words, and make you doubt your own memory. It’s a subtle form of emotional abuse that gradually chips away at your confidence and makes you dependent on their version of reality. Don’t fall for it. Trust your gut, and don’t let them rewrite history.
3. Mirroring
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are chameleons. They’ll morph into whoever they think you want them to be. They’ll mirror your interests, opinions, and even your mannerisms. It’s like looking in a fun house mirror – a distorted reflection of yourself. This is their way of creating a false sense of connection. But it’s all an act. They don’t genuinely care about your passions; they’re just trying to lure you into their web.
4. Triangulation
This is their favourite game. They’ll bring in a third person – an ex, a friend, a coworker – to make you feel jealous or insecure. It’s their way of keeping you on edge and constantly vying for their attention. They might even create fake conflicts or scenarios to make you feel threatened. Don’t get caught up in their twisted games. Remember, their goal is to control you, not to genuinely connect with you.
5. Hoovering
Source: Unsplash Just when you think you’re free, they come crawling back. It might be a heartfelt apology, a sentimental gift, or a promise to change. Don’t be fooled. It’s just another attempt to suck you back into their drama. They miss the control they had over you, not the person you are. Resist the urge to give them another chance, and block their number if you have to.
6. The silent treatment
Source: Unsplash Narcissists use silence as a weapon. They’ll ignore your calls, texts, and any attempt at communication. This is their way of punishing you for not bending to their will. It’s designed to make you feel anxious, insecure, and desperate for their attention. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Use this time to focus on yourself and your own well-being.
7. Projection
Source: Unsplash They’re masters at deflecting blame. Whatever their shortcomings are, they’ll accuse you of the same thing. If they’re cheating, they’ll accuse you of being unfaithful. If they’re lying, they’ll call you a liar. It’s a mind game designed to confuse you and make you question your own sanity. Don’t get sucked into their warped logic. Remember, their accusations are often a reflection of their own guilt and insecurities.
8. Scapegoating
Source: Unsplash Narcissists always need someone to blame. They’ll single you out as the cause of their problems, even if you had nothing to do with it. It’s their way of avoiding responsibility and maintaining their inflated ego. Don’t let them shift the blame onto you. Stand up for yourself, and don’t let their negativity rub off on you.
9. Devaluation
Source: Unsplash Once they’ve got you hooked, they’ll start chipping away at your self-esteem. They’ll criticise your appearance, your intelligence, your accomplishments. They’ll make you feel like you’re not good enough for them. This is their way of keeping you under their thumb. Remember, their insults are a reflection of their own insecurities, not your worth.
10. Emotional blackmail
Source: Unsplash They’ll use your emotions against you. They’ll threaten to leave you, harm themselves, or expose your secrets if you don’t do what they want. It’s a form of manipulation that preys on your empathy and fear. Don’t fall for their threats. Set clear boundaries and don’t let them control you with their emotional outbursts.
11. Sabotage
Source: Unsplash They don’t want to see you succeed. If you’re doing well at work, they’ll undermine your efforts. If you’re trying to lose weight, they’ll tempt you with treats. If you’re trying to make new friends, they’ll spread rumours. Their goal is to keep you down and make you feel dependent on them. Don’t let them sabotage your happiness or success. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you thrive.
12. Playing the victim
Source: Unsplash No matter what they do, they’ll always find a way to make themselves the victim. They’ll twist the narrative to make it seem like you’re the one who’s wronged them. They’ll play on your sympathy and guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want. Don’t fall for their crocodile tears. Remember, they’re not the victim; they’re the perpetrator.
13. Isolating you
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are control freaks. They’ll try to isolate you from your friends and family so they have more power over you. They might criticise the people you love, make it difficult for you to see them, or even create drama to drive a wedge between you. Don’t let them cut you off from your support system. Stay connected to the people who care about you, and don’t let them isolate you from the outside world.
14. Financial abuse
Source: Unsplash They’ll use money as a tool of control. They might try to limit your access to funds, make you feel guilty for spending money on yourself, or pressure you into supporting their lavish lifestyle. They might even rack up debt in your name or steal from you. Don’t let them control your finances. Seek help from a financial advisor or a trusted friend if you feel trapped.
15. Smear campaigns
Source: Unsplash When they can’t control you any more, they’ll try to destroy your reputation. They’ll spread lies, rumours, and half-truths to make you look bad. They might even try to turn your loved ones against you. Don’t engage in their mudslinging. Focus on your own well-being and surround yourself with people who know the real you.
16. Discarding and replacing
Source: Unsplash Once they’ve drained you of all your energy, they’ll discard you like yesterday’s news. They’ll move on to their next victim without a second thought. It might feel like a punch in the gut, but remember, it’s not your fault. They’re incapable of genuine connection. Don’t waste your time mourning their loss. Focus on healing and finding someone who truly deserves your love and affection.
17. Returning with a vengeance
Source: Unsplash If they sense you’re moving on and thriving, they might try to re-enter your life. It might be a harmless text, a casual encounter, or even a grand gesture. Don’t be fooled. They’re not trying to win you back; they’re trying to regain control. They want to see if they still have a hold on you. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Ignore their attempts to re-enter your life, and focus on building a future that doesn’t include them.
