15 Things Men Do In Relationships When They Have Low Self-Esteem

Relationships are a two-way street, built on trust, respect, and mutual support. However, when one partner struggles with low self-esteem, it can create challenges that affect the entire dynamic. If you’re dating a man who’s constantly second-guessing himself, there are certain behaviors you might notice. Here are some common things men do in relationships when they lack self-esteem:

1. They constantly ask for reassurance.

A man with low self-esteem might constantly ask you if you love them, if you find them attractive, or if you’re happy with the relationship. They crave validation and reassurance from their partner to feel secure and loved. While it’s normal to want some reassurance, excessive neediness can become draining.

2. They apologise way too much.

Even for minor mistakes or disagreements, they might apologise profusely, as if they’re always at fault. This stems from a fear of upsetting you or causing conflict, and a belief that they’re not good enough for you. While apologies are important, overdoing it can be a sign of insecurity.

3. They become overly jealous or possessive.

Insecurity can lead to jealousy and possessiveness in relationships. They might constantly worry about you leaving them or finding someone better. This can manifest in controlling behavior, accusations, or snooping through your phone. It’s important to communicate boundaries and reassure them of your commitment.

4. They compare themselves to other men.

A man with low self-esteem might constantly compare himself to other men, especially your exes or male friends. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Help him see his unique qualities and remind him that you chose him for a reason.

5. They put themselves down.

They might make self-deprecating jokes or constantly criticise their appearance, abilities, or achievements. This can be a way to deflect compliments or preemptively address perceived flaws. Encourage them to focus on their positive traits and celebrate their accomplishments.

6. They have difficulty accepting compliments.

When you give them a compliment, they might brush it off, downplay it, or even disagree with it. This is often due to a lack of self-worth and a belief that they don’t deserve praise. Help them learn to accept compliments graciously and internalise positive feedback.

7. They avoid taking initiative or making decisions.

They might hesitate to take the lead, make plans, or express their preferences, fearing that they’ll make the wrong choice or disappoint you. Encourage them to voice their opinions and take ownership of their decisions, even if it means making mistakes along the way.

8. They become overly dependent on the relationship.

They might rely on you for their happiness, self-worth, and sense of purpose. This can create an unhealthy dynamic where they cling to you and fear being alone. Encourage them to develop their own interests, hobbies, and social connections outside of the relationship.

9. They have difficulty expressing their emotions.

Men with low self-esteem often struggle to articulate their feelings, fearing vulnerability or judgment. This can lead to bottled-up emotions, communication breakdowns, and unresolved conflicts. Encourage open and honest communication, and create a safe space for him to express himself without fear of criticism.

10. They sabotage the relationship.

Sometimes, a deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment can lead to self-sabotaging behavior. They might pick fights, create drama, or push you away as a way to test your commitment or preemptively protect themselves from potential heartbreak. Address these behaviors with compassion and understanding, while emphasising the importance of trust and open communication.

11. They struggle with intimacy.

Intimacy requires vulnerability, which can be challenging for someone with low self-esteem. They might shy away from physical affection, avoid emotional connection, or struggle with sexual performance anxiety. Reassure them of your love and acceptance, and create a safe space for them to explore intimacy at their own pace.

12. They have difficulty receiving love.

Just as they struggle to express their own emotions, men with low self-esteem may also struggle to accept love from other people. They might question your motives, doubt your sincerity, or feel unworthy of your affection. Be patient and consistent in your love and support, and help them gradually build their self-worth.

13. They isolate themselves.

When feeling insecure or overwhelmed, they might withdraw from social activities, hobbies, or even the relationship itself. This can be a way to cope with their negative emotions or avoid situations that trigger their insecurities. Encourage them to stay connected with friends and family, and participate in activities they enjoy.

14. They become overly critical of you.

Sometimes, men with low self-esteem project their insecurities onto their partners by becoming overly critical or judgmental. They might nitpick your appearance, choices, or behavior as a way to feel better about themselves. Address these criticisms directly and calmly, and remind them of the positive qualities you appreciate in them.

15. They fear failure or rejection.

A fear of failure or rejection can hold them back from pursuing their goals, taking risks, or even expressing their love and affection. Encourage them to step outside their comfort zone, celebrate small victories, and view setbacks as opportunities for growth. Remind them that you’re there to support them through thick and thin, and that your love is unconditional.