15 Sneaky Phrases People Use To Tell You What To Do
Envato Elements Sneaky aren’t just going to come out and tell you what to do — they have a ton of underhanded phrases to say it indirectly.
However, they’re not slick, no matter how much they think they are. It’s time to wise up and recognise these underhanded tactics for what they are. Keep your ears peeled for these 15 phrases — if you hear them, you’re dealing with a sneaky person who’s trying to manipulate you.
1. “I’m just saying…”
When someone prefaces their unsolicited advice with “I’m just saying,” they’re trying to make it seem like they’re just innocently sharing their thoughts. Don’t be fooled — they’re absolutely telling you what to do, but want to avoid taking responsibility for it. Next time, feel free to hit them back with “And I’m just not listening.”
2. “You should really…”
This one’s super common to the point of being overused. By framing their command as a suggestion, they think they can boss you around without looking pushy. But let’s call a spade a spade — “you should really” is just a slightly more polite way of barking orders. Unless you’re looking for unsolicited life coaching, feel free to ignore this one.
3. “Have you considered…?”
On the surface, this one seems like an innocent question. But don’t be fooled — what they’re really saying is, “I think you’re handling this wrong, and here’s what you should do instead.” It’s a sneaky way of questioning your judgment and pushing their own agenda. Consider responding with, “Nope, and I’m not about to start now.”
4. “If I were you…”
Newsflash: they’re not you, and thank goodness for that. When someone starts a sentence with “If I were you,” brace yourself for some condescending advice that completely disregards your unique circumstances and perspective. Feel free to remind them that they’re not, in fact, you, and that you’ve got this handled.
5. “I’m just trying to help.”
This one’s often used as a guilt trip when you don’t jump to follow someone’s unsolicited advice. They’ll act like you’re being ungrateful by not doing exactly what they say. Don’t fall for it — you’re not obligated to take anyone’s “help” if it’s not actually helpful. A simple “thanks, but no, thanks” should do the trick.
6. “Can I give you some advice?”
Spoiler alert: they’re going to give you that advice whether you want it or not. This phrase is just a flimsy attempt at getting your permission before they launch into a lecture. If you’re not in the mood for a sermon, feel free to cut them off with a firm, “No, you cannot.”
7. “I’m only saying this because I care about you.”
This one’s a classic manipulation tactic. By framing their unsolicited instructions as an act of love, they’re trying to make you feel guilty for not complying. But caring about someone doesn’t give you the right to control them. Feel free to set a boundary with a simple, “I appreciate that you care, but I’ve got this.”
8. “You know what you need to do…”
This phrase is designed to make you doubt yourself and defer to their judgment. After all, if you really knew what to do, you’d be doing it already, right? Wrong. Don’t let anyone undermine your confidence like that. Trust your gut and do what feels right to you.
9. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but…”
Spoiler alert: they absolutely are trying to tell you what to do. This disclaimer is just a flimsy attempt to avoid taking responsibility for their bossiness. If they really weren’t trying to tell you what to do, they’d keep their unsolicited opinions to themselves. Feel free to call them out on their BS.
10. “I think you need to…”
Source: Unsplash “I think you need to” is just a slightly more polite way of saying “Do what I say, or else.” It’s a way of asserting authority and making you feel like you don’t have a choice in the matter. News flash: you always have a choice. Don’t let anyone bully you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.
11. “Have you tried…?”
Source: Unsplash On the surface, this one seems like a helpful suggestion. But more often than not, it’s just a way of implying that you’re not handling things correctly. It’s a subtle way of saying, “You’re doing it wrong, and here’s what you should be doing instead.” Don’t take the bait — just because something worked for them doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
12. “I’m worried about you.”
Source: Unsplash While this phrase can come from a place of genuine concern, it’s often used as a manipulation tactic. By making you feel like your actions are causing them distress, they’re trying to guilt you into doing what they want. Remember: you’re not responsible for managing anyone else’s emotions. Do what’s right for you, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
13. “I just want what’s best for you.”
Source: Unsplash Nice guilt trip there. By framing their advice as an act of selfless concern, they’re trying to make you feel obligated to follow it. But here’s the thing: only you can decide what’s best for you. Don’t let anyone else dictate your life choices, no matter how well-intentioned they may seem.
14. “You’re being too sensitive.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is designed to make you doubt your own emotions and intuition. If someone’s advice or behaviour is making you uncomfortable, you have every right to set a boundary or say no. Don’t let anyone convince you that your feelings aren’t valid just because they don’t like the consequences.
15. “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”
Source: Unsplash This one’s an old-fashioned appeal to authority. By positioning themselves as an expert, they’re trying to make you feel like you have no choice but to defer to their wisdom. But expertise is not infallible, and even the most well-meaning advice can be misguided. Trust your own judgment, and don’t be afraid to push back if something doesn’t feel right to you.
