13 Things That Happen When A Narcissist Can’t Control You
Envato Elements Dealing with a narcissist can feel like walking on eggshells, their need for control often suffocating. But what happens when the tables turn, and they lose their grip on you? Things can get pretty interesting, to say the least. Here’s what you might experience when a narcissist can no longer control you.
1. They ramp up their manipulation tactics.
When a narcissist senses their control slipping, they often double down on manipulation. Expect more intense charm, guilt trips, or gaslighting. They might even resort to threats or intimidation. Don’t fall for it – it’s just a desperate attempt to regain power.
2. They experience narcissistic rage.
Source: Unsplash Losing control can trigger intense anger, resentment, or even violence in a narcissist. This rage can manifest as verbal or physical attacks, silent treatments, or smear campaigns. Protect yourself and avoid engaging, as their outburst is not your responsibility.
3. They try to undermine your credibility.
Source: Unsplash To regain power, a narcissist might spread rumours or lies about you, trying to isolate you from your support network. Stay connected with your loved ones and don’t let their words affect your self-worth. Their actions reflect more on them than on you.
4. They try to hoover you back in.
Source: Unsplash After a period of rage or silence, the narcissist might suddenly become charming and apologetic, even declaring their love. This “hoovering” is a manipulative tactic to lure you back. Don’t fall for their false promises, as they’ll likely revert to old patterns once in control.
5. They move on to a new target.
Source: Unsplash If their efforts fail, narcissists might move on to someone easier to control. They seek a new source of attention and admiration, leaving you free from their toxic influence. While painful, it’s a blessing in disguise, allowing you to focus on your well-being.
6. They might eventually self-destruct.
Source: Unsplash Deprived of validation and control, some narcissists may spiral into self-destructive behaviours like risk-taking, substance abuse, or even suicidal tendencies. Remember, their choices aren’t your responsibility. Focus on your own healing and let them face the consequences of their actions.
7. They become increasingly desperate and erratic.
Source: Unsplash As control diminishes, narcissists become more desperate, trying unpredictable tactics to regain power. Their behaviour may become erratic and extreme. Maintain your boundaries and resolve, recognising their desperation as a sign of weakness, not yours.
8. They try to sabotage your happiness.
Source: Unsplash A narcissist who can’t control you might try to undermine your relationships, career, or personal goals. They might even attempt to turn your loved ones against you. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you and don’t let their negativity derail your happiness.
9. They play the victim.
Source: Unsplash When losing control, a narcissist might try to garner sympathy by portraying themselves as the victim. They might blame you for their misfortunes or exaggerate their suffering to manipulate your emotions and regain control. Don’t fall for their pity ploy and stay focused on your own well-being.
10. They try to guilt-trip you.
Source: Unsplash Guilt is a powerful weapon in a narcissist’s arsenal. They might try to make you feel responsible for their unhappiness or blame you for their failures. Remember, their emotions are their responsibility, not yours. Don’t let their guilt trips manipulate you into returning to their control.
11. They might resort to stalking or harassment.
Source: Unsplash In extreme cases, a narcissist might resort to stalking or harassment when they can’t control you. This can involve unwanted contact, monitoring your activities, or spreading malicious rumours. If you feel threatened, seek help from authorities or support networks to ensure your safety.
12. They might try to damage your reputation.
Source: Unsplash A narcissist might try to tarnish your reputation by spreading lies or exaggerating your flaws. They might try to turn your friends, family, or colleagues against you. Don’t let their smear campaign define you. Surround yourself with people who know and love you for who you are.
13. They might eventually disappear.
Some narcissists, unable to cope with the loss of control, might simply disappear from your life. They might ghost you, cut off all contact, or move on to a new target. While this might be painful initially, it’s ultimately a good thing. It allows you to heal and move on from their toxic influence.
